[P.S. I sincerely apologize to those who might be offended by the following blog…and will remove it as soon as I get my first threat, for I admit, it’s gonna be sliiiiightly racist…]
Here are some Sri Lankan cricketers;
Uda Walawwe Mahim Bandaralage Chanaka Asanga Welegedara,
Warnakulasuriya Patabendige Ushantha Joseph Chaminda Vaas,
Herath Mudiyanselage Rangana Keerthi Bandara Herath,
Rupasinghe Jayawardene Mudiyanselage Gihan Madushanka Rupasinghe,
Hewasandatchige Asiri Prasanna Wishvanath Jayawardene…
[Kudos to the ‘Copy & Paste’ command! And cricinfo.com!]
I purposely put a comma in between so you guys won’t confuse it as one elongated name. Now, why do names have to be this loooong?! Okay, I can understand to a certain extent…like mine’s not short either…but it ain’t 55 letters!
I don’t know if there’s a similar practice followed in other cultures whether people are “blessed” with painstakingly-stretched names…but since I watch cricket and amongst all cricketers, it’s the Lankans who beat everyone’s asses in the name game.
It’s the Sinhalese tradition to inherit one’s name from the parents, caste, district, village...and the real name! Coming to think what game the ancestors had in mind…they might have been like “Look guys, I don’t want any name repeated. Let’s introduce this inheriting system for making sure everyone’s unique!” And those cunning dudes probably had names like Jose or Peter!
Never mind the weirdness of the anti-brevity, but this also causes problems. Sri Lankan names actually caused computers at Italian Immigration Offices to break down, seriously! Don’t trust me? Feel enlightened by clicking below;
http://www.lankanewspapers.com/news/2007/12/22962.html
And after hearing about C.A.T severs breaking down in several major cities in our country…Lankans might be using supercomputers everywhere! Be it schools, hospitals, banks!!
Because of this aspect, you could start a whole new race of racist jokes…like Sardarji or Sasi jokes…the Lankan jokes. Here are some I cooked up in past 15 minutes;
1) Sri Lankan mother ,”Son, why didn’t you write anything in the Board exams?”
Son ,”Mom, they insisted on writing full name in the answer paper!”
2) How does a suspicious Sri Lankan get questioned by an anti-terrorist squad?
“Spell out your name now!! Fast!!!”
3) How does a Sri Lankan sign?
He simply writes his initials!
4) Why do Lankan theatres show only one movie a day?
‘Coz though the movie is 2 hours long, the credits never seem to end!
5) What would a Lankan remake of ‘Raju Ban Gaya Gentleman’, or ‘Neal N’ Nikki’, be renamed as?
That’s left to you guyz!
6) What’s the most tedious profession in Sri Lanka?
Person who takes the census!
7) Who have the thickest passports in the world? (Including parents’ names!)
Guess!
8) Think of all the certificates (resumes, driver’s license, birth) you need full names, the Lankans will have 2 sheets of each!
9) Think when a baby is born to couple of mathematicians, their conversation will go like, “Hubby, if it’s a boy, let’s name him ∫(-∞ to 0)JWHPCL… , or if it’s a girl….” Or it could be “Honey, can you help me with this permutation and combination problem? I was trying to find a set of initials, but the calculator crashed after 26C10!”
10) There’s this Hindu tradition of whispering the baby’s name into his ears. What if a Sri Lankan followed that tradition? A Sri-Lankan baby to another who had just been named ,”What was that prayer my grand dad just whispered into my ears?” “That wasn’t a prayer dumbass, that was your freaking name!”
11) What’s the usual imposition for a Lankan student?
Write your name 50 times!
What if he repeats the mistake?
Write your parents’ names too!
12) Sri Lankan fairy-tales are like character novels, and character novels are like epics!
13) Think of a dramatic ending to a Sri Lankan movie, where the hero dies halfway through his final dialogue while citing names!
14) A Sri Lankan’s nickname would be his actual name! [Hey…this is fact!]
15) A Sri Lankan filling a sample form;
Name : (blah...blah… saga)
Address : given above!
Parents’ names : also given above!
Hmmm….this is actually economical ink-wise….you could save space on a postcard you know…like just address it to the name!
Oh man…15 minutes and 15 PJ’s...that’s like PJ-a-minute! C’mon, you must have come up with a few yourself by now…chip in!!
Sreesanth n’ Bhajji kickin’ som Lankan ass now(188/4)…adios!
Here are some Sri Lankan cricketers;
Uda Walawwe Mahim Bandaralage Chanaka Asanga Welegedara,
Warnakulasuriya Patabendige Ushantha Joseph Chaminda Vaas,
Herath Mudiyanselage Rangana Keerthi Bandara Herath,
Rupasinghe Jayawardene Mudiyanselage Gihan Madushanka Rupasinghe,
Hewasandatchige Asiri Prasanna Wishvanath Jayawardene…
[Kudos to the ‘Copy & Paste’ command! And cricinfo.com!]
I purposely put a comma in between so you guys won’t confuse it as one elongated name. Now, why do names have to be this loooong?! Okay, I can understand to a certain extent…like mine’s not short either…but it ain’t 55 letters!
I don’t know if there’s a similar practice followed in other cultures whether people are “blessed” with painstakingly-stretched names…but since I watch cricket and amongst all cricketers, it’s the Lankans who beat everyone’s asses in the name game.
It’s the Sinhalese tradition to inherit one’s name from the parents, caste, district, village...and the real name! Coming to think what game the ancestors had in mind…they might have been like “Look guys, I don’t want any name repeated. Let’s introduce this inheriting system for making sure everyone’s unique!” And those cunning dudes probably had names like Jose or Peter!
Never mind the weirdness of the anti-brevity, but this also causes problems. Sri Lankan names actually caused computers at Italian Immigration Offices to break down, seriously! Don’t trust me? Feel enlightened by clicking below;
http://www.lankanewspapers.com/news/2007/12/22962.html
And after hearing about C.A.T severs breaking down in several major cities in our country…Lankans might be using supercomputers everywhere! Be it schools, hospitals, banks!!
Because of this aspect, you could start a whole new race of racist jokes…like Sardarji or Sasi jokes…the Lankan jokes. Here are some I cooked up in past 15 minutes;
1) Sri Lankan mother ,”Son, why didn’t you write anything in the Board exams?”
Son ,”Mom, they insisted on writing full name in the answer paper!”
2) How does a suspicious Sri Lankan get questioned by an anti-terrorist squad?
“Spell out your name now!! Fast!!!”
3) How does a Sri Lankan sign?
He simply writes his initials!
4) Why do Lankan theatres show only one movie a day?
‘Coz though the movie is 2 hours long, the credits never seem to end!
5) What would a Lankan remake of ‘Raju Ban Gaya Gentleman’, or ‘Neal N’ Nikki’, be renamed as?
That’s left to you guyz!
6) What’s the most tedious profession in Sri Lanka?
Person who takes the census!
7) Who have the thickest passports in the world? (Including parents’ names!)
Guess!
8) Think of all the certificates (resumes, driver’s license, birth) you need full names, the Lankans will have 2 sheets of each!
9) Think when a baby is born to couple of mathematicians, their conversation will go like, “Hubby, if it’s a boy, let’s name him ∫(-∞ to 0)JWHPCL… , or if it’s a girl….” Or it could be “Honey, can you help me with this permutation and combination problem? I was trying to find a set of initials, but the calculator crashed after 26C10!”
10) There’s this Hindu tradition of whispering the baby’s name into his ears. What if a Sri Lankan followed that tradition? A Sri-Lankan baby to another who had just been named ,”What was that prayer my grand dad just whispered into my ears?” “That wasn’t a prayer dumbass, that was your freaking name!”
11) What’s the usual imposition for a Lankan student?
Write your name 50 times!
What if he repeats the mistake?
Write your parents’ names too!
12) Sri Lankan fairy-tales are like character novels, and character novels are like epics!
13) Think of a dramatic ending to a Sri Lankan movie, where the hero dies halfway through his final dialogue while citing names!
14) A Sri Lankan’s nickname would be his actual name! [Hey…this is fact!]
15) A Sri Lankan filling a sample form;
Name : (blah...blah… saga)
Address : given above!
Parents’ names : also given above!
Hmmm….this is actually economical ink-wise….you could save space on a postcard you know…like just address it to the name!
Oh man…15 minutes and 15 PJ’s...that’s like PJ-a-minute! C’mon, you must have come up with a few yourself by now…chip in!!
Sreesanth n’ Bhajji kickin’ som Lankan ass now(188/4)…adios!
